Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Reasons

Feeling horrible tonight after a hell long hour of work for the past week. And again, what got me into this column...this page...is the same old thing that brought me to write. My feelings...

I need a break, I told my baby. I need a break for all things. But it ain't right. I can't escape from my responsibility. Sometimes life just suck like hell.

There are times when you're high up in the sky but there are times when you're down in hell. Decisions and decisions and decisions. I'm still in the middle of the sea. Floating, hoping to find a safe land.

Don't you just hate the times when you need to decide between your family, loved ones and career? It's hard. It's tough. At times, I thought of being selfish but in the end, I still step back. Sigh...

How long can I hold on to this situation. I don't know. If I were to give up, I would never know what brings me in the future. If I were to stand tough, then I'll be exhausted by the time I reaches the top. I'd lost my confidence. Confidence didn't walk with me anymore. It used to be my partner of life but not now. Exhaustion is my only company.

There are so many questions in my head. I can't seem to find the right answer for them all. All I can seek for are reasons. Reasons to do this and to not do that. Reasons which doesn't seem right. Reasons which everyone call reasons.

Could I be the only question to myself?

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