Friends and Effort
Friends. They come and go. Everyone cross path with you for a reason. Either to be your lifelong dependable friend or just to teach you a lesson. Some come and go as quick as the quicksand. Some stayed on for couple of months and take their departure once the mission completes. While some, is just a phone call away since day one.
So how do you know who belongs to which category?
The answer is, you don't.
Living for 30 years, having friends for as long as 20 years, I realised that it is all about the effort. The phrase, 'It takes two to tango' is so accurate that it can even predict the rainy and sunny days. What kind of effort are we talking about here? We're talking about the effort to make friend(s) and keep up the effort to make that friendship last with even the smallest step.
Have you ever thought about the effort you make? What did you do to keep that friendship? Or the effort your friend(s) made to meet up, to call, or merely just a simple text to say 'Hi' or 'Good Morning'. These days everyone is on technology. Meet ups become phone calls. Phone calls become text messages. Text messages become emoji replies. What happened to that extra effort to dial and just talk? Or just take an hour from your Saturday night to come out and chill? There's so many things you can do. You could have a simple dinner at McDonald's. You could go for movie or play darts in the arcade. And if time does not permit, make the effort to meet at Starbucks or any cafe for half an hour just to catch up. I promise, you will thank yourself after that 30 minutes of catch up. Be it the result is good or bad, you will still thank yourself for things you discovered.
OK so what if you are willing to put in the effort to meet but your friend(s) doesn't? Then try again. Don't give up just once or twice. I'm not telling you to pester your friend to come out every single night or every Saturday night. Reschedule to match both your timings. Choose a venue convenient for both of you. A place not too noisy and loud so you can have quality time with your friend just to understand each other more. But if you've tried several times and this particular friend just refuse to meet, to make the effort, then I think it's best you move on. Because again, it takes two to tango.
My mum once told me, "When you're at home, you rely on family. But once you go out to the society, you rely on friends". I couldn't agree more to that. Your family is there for you, but they are not all over the world. When you go for vacation, when you move out of your hometown to study or work, you need friends to be there during your ups and downs time. No one can be strong alone. Even Superman has Lois Lane. Don't be too hard up on yourself, let friends help you through your life. You need friend to help when you move house. You need friend to support you when you start a new job. You need friend to show you around when you just arrive in a new city. You need friend to share about your relationship issue. You need friend to share a pizza. We all do. We all need friends for every occasion and every celebration.
So make the effort. Appreciate your friends before they're gone. Treasure the times you guys had and having because there might be no next time. Make the effort to answer that phone call. Make the effort to reply that 'Good Morning' message sent to you or the WhatsApp group you guys have. Make the effort to attend the annual gatherings. Make the effort to organise one if no one raise up the topic. Make the effort before it's too late.
Lastly, Thank You to the friends who stayed on in my life for close to 20 years. Let's make the effort to keep this friendship until we're 80 and still chill with Guinness while we laugh off the memories we had together.